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|Seeking||Looking For Sexual People|
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India 'fails' victims of abuse That is what LoveSexandTech is documenting - how gender-based violence in intimate relationships le to a shrinkage of the space women occupy online.
Ms Harikumar says when she first put out a post in August asking women to share their stories about "restrictions, surveillance and control placed by intimate partners", she didn't think she would get many responses. She initially called her project Love, Sex and Violence but then "I realised that in India, a lot of violations are not even considered violence, especially the emotional ones".
So, she spelt it out in greater details, explaining that "this could be anything from the threat to make a chat you shared with them public or with friends, threatening to leak your nude photos or leaking them, causing you emotional, physical or sexual harm for talking to someone online or posting something that they don't approve of, or adding spyware Marshfield nc black girl your devices".
Within days, Ms Harikumar says, lots of women responded with their stories of having faced "gaslighting, control, slut-shaming, emotional violence and manipulation". At the same time, they wanted their stories to fhat as a warning to others who laxy themselves in a similar situation.
One woman, who wrote in saying she was "very conscious of her body", spoke about her shock on finding out that her lover had shared her nude photo online without her consent. He was pleased that so many men said they desired me sexually. He said he did it because he wanted me to feel good about my body.
But I felt so violated. Yet another said her partner badgered her until she shared her password with him saying "you're hiding something or you're talking to other men". And another woman said her partner used her thumb to unlock her phone as she slept and later shamed her over a video she had watched online.
They had also removed photos showing cleavage, or where they were smoking or drinking. Most women take refuge in the 'good girl narrative'. It's universal - asiw keeps them safe.
We are told women can only be of two kinds - Mother Mary or a slut. We often blame ourselves when things go wrong.
One woman wrote in about how she stood up to her ex-boyfriend when he threatened to send her photos to her dad. Another said her ex-boyfriend threatened to share her nudes online when she broke up with him. He backed down when she threatened to call the police on him.
You blame yourself for not standing up for yourself," Ms Harikumar says. Through LoveSexandTech, she says, she is trying to document stories of women acknowledging the abuse, standing up to their abusers, and taking back control of technology to reclaim the virtual space that is rightfully theirs.