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So what will you say?
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Every family will have different philosophies and comfort levels around privacy, emotional readiness, and roim. Think about what you would do if she were heterosexual. Would you talk to her about sex—not just the mechanics, but safety, peer pressure, readiness, respect, and consent?
If so, you should have the same conversation with her about sex with women. As for sleepovers, think about what your rules would be if she were attracted to boys.
Would you allow boys she was romantically interested in to sleep over? Would you let only boys who were clearly longtime platonic pals sleep over?
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Would you let a boy sleep over if he slept in the living room? Would you allow a co-ed group sleepover?
You might consider what chhat of permission your daughter needs in order to have guests over. Over time, these rules will shift, and the conversations the two of you have as you navigate those changes are how the trust between you will grow. Sex in the context of caring about your partner and being intentional about what you both want is healthier—but your only opportunities to have sex are in a closet while drunk at a party.
In our family we value honesty—but you have to lie about your sexual chaf, even if by omission. Could these boundaries be more challenging to tease out with same-sex relationships?
Will your daughter show occasional lapses in judgment or honesty? Fortunately, neither of you has to get this perfect—nobody does. Dear Therapist is for informational purposes only, does not constitute medical advice, and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician, mental-health professional, or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.